More than two decades ago, I had the privilege of connecting online with the late Henrietta McGrew Holland of Kalamazoo, Michigan. I no longer remember exactly how our paths first crossed, but genealogy brought us together. She may have come across one of my many posts mentioning that my mother’s family was from Tate and Panola Counties, Mississippi. Since Milam was one of my family surnames, and one that also appeared in her research, that shared connection likely sparked our conversations.

Henrietta and I exchanged countless emails and spent many hours on the phone discussing our ancestors and family history research. I still have many of those emails saved today. At the time, neither of us realized we were actually related. That changed after we both spoke with my maternal grandmother’s first cousin, the late Sammie Lee Davis Hayes, who was truly the griot of our family.

Born in Panola County in 1920 to my grandmother’s paternal uncle, Tom Davis, Cousin Sammie Lee possessed an extraordinary memory, and she loved sharing family history. During one memorable conversation, she told us that before my maternal grandmother, Minnie Davis, married my grandfather, Simpson Reed, she had once been courted by a man named Ben Dean. That immediately caught our attention because Dean was one of Henrietta’s family surnames.

According to Cousin Sammie Lee, my grandmother’s father, John Hector Davis, quickly intervened when he learned of the relationship. He informed my grandmother that she and Ben Dean were cousins.

As it turned out, Ben Dean was Henrietta’s great-uncle! Ben and Henrietta’s maternal grandmother, Medora Dean Phillips, were the children of Hiram Dean and Amanda Powers. Henrietta had already discovered that Amanda and her mother, Jane Powers, had been enslaved by John Power in Panola County, Mississippi.

From that moment on, Henrietta and I affectionately referred to one another as “cousins.” We worked diligently to uncover the precise family connection, but every lead eventually reached a dead end. Cousin Sammie Lee only knew that Ben Dean was somehow related to her paternal grandmother, Lucy Milam Davis—who was also my grandmother’s paternal grandmother and the daughter of Wade and Peggy Milam.

For years, we searched without success. Yet despite the unanswered questions, Henrietta and I found joy simply in knowing that we were family. We remained in contact for many years until her passing in 2021.

Her obituary beautifully captured her spirit:

“Besides cooking, Henrietta enjoyed playing chess, completing puzzles, casino gaming, dancing, and listening to her jazz music. She loved all her family and wanted to ensure that all knew of the ancestry makeup, by creating a genealogy research study, of which she worked on for numerous years.”

Recently, on May 18, I published a blog post titled “Another Huge Discovery with FamilySearch’s Full Text Tool.” In that article, I shared a recent, remarkable discovery: an April 7, 1834 deed of gift in which John Power transferred two enslaved children to his niece, Eunice Power Milam, in Madison County, Alabama. One of those children was my third-great-grandfather, Wade Milam, who was recorded as being around five years old.

Wade was later enslaved by Joseph R. and Eunice Milam in Tate County, Mississippi. Shortly after the deed was executed, the Milam and Power families migrated to Panola County, Mississippi. Significantly, this was the very same John Power who had enslaved Henrietta’s ancestors.

Because Wade Milam was only five years old when John Power gifted him in 1834, there is a very strong possibility that Power also enslaved Wade’s mother and other close relatives who were later transported to Panola County during the mid-to-late 1830s. Although the exact relationship between Henrietta’s great-great-grandmother Jane Powers and my ancestor Wade Milam remains unclear, the evidence increasingly suggests that they were likely close relatives.

I only wish Cousin Henrietta were still here for me to share this breakthrough with her. But perhaps she already knows now. And maybe, somehow, she will continue sending clues to help piece together this family puzzle. Continue to R.I.P. Cousin Henrietta.